The quest for fire, film at 11

Chronically Disconnected Insane in the Suburban Membrane had this yesterday about how it really is newsworthy when someone in Minnesota shows scrap of common sense.

Nowhere was this more apparent than in downtown Minneapolis this weekend when the light rail smashed up an SUV (no word on whether the driver spilled his coffee or if his cell call was dropped) and it was the big news.

I mean, hell, people are pushed in front of the El and the story is about how the morning commute was jacked up for 45 minutes. That is comforting to me in the same way fire trucks and traffic help me sleep at night.

Throughout the evening as they were hyping the evening news during the basketball games, they kept mentioning how the light rail passengers were confused and frightened as they were stuck on the light rail tracks.

I can see any number of adjectives to describe the passengers on the overhyped airport tram that passes as public transportation here. For example, concerned, upset, annoyed, amused or late for dinner with the wife. But confused? Shouldn't that have fallen to the wayside after you heard the SUV crunch up and someone explained that you hit something?

I can only imagine the police on the scene to take statements from a carload of unfrozen cavemen witnesses.

"I am but a simple caveman, unthawed by your scientists and set free to roam your modern world. The things here frighten me from this magic beast that takes me from your 'mall' to your 'random stop somewhere downtown.' Though I am but a simple caveman, it baffles me how civic planning and public transportation in such a large town could suck so badly."
The funny thing is that police were needed elsewhere in this bustling metropolis to free this dumbass kid from one of those toy crane machines.

Watch the video feed, the older brother is priceless and may be smarter than your average housecat. Maybe.

Mom is on record as saying that the pizza joint should childproof the machine, but my vote is to knucklehead proof her strange little kid. Seriously, hiding in there and the TV station's camera bag? Can we get him tested for agorophobia?

Check the video and pray for a nuclear accident in Minnesota to thin the ranks of the massing dumbass armies that have chosen this state to call home. While you're at it, parlay that prayer for blowback into Wisconsin and the Dakotas. They're not much better.

(For the record, this photo isn't Photoshopped (This one isn't, either). Also, they let the kid go, despite my urging that it was for the best that he be left in there until he learns or, you know, uh... dies?.)

(Photo from pandasthumb.org / startribune.com)