To infinity and beyond

We just got back from the vet's office where we learned that our beloved dog, Lucky, has an infection in his foot.

And not just any sort of infection, but a yeast infection. Hilarity ensued on the car ride home. Most of it in the form of vulgar jokes at our poor mutt's expense.

When we got back, we began dutifully giving the dog treat with his new collar on to get him used to this new, exciting and completely positive experience. I'm not sure if he understands humiliation, but if The Girl laughing at him doesn't turn him against us, nothing will.

As I type this, we've already seen one glass of water and other clutter fall victim to his new circle of destruction.

As an added plus, we've taken a dog that is noise sensitive and one hell of a barker and simultaneously given him a radar dish and a megaphone. Our neighbors are being given state-subsidized grants to get hotel rooms for the duration of this treatment.

That is some impressive engineering, probably from someone who owns a cat.

5... 4... 3...

For those unfortunate souls stuck watching the clock at work Monday, I offer you this - the Year in Pictures, courtesy of the San Francisco Chronicle.

I love the fact that the staff writers there take the AP captions and use them as a loose guide. Basically, they'll use the names, dates and places, but the rest can be pretty irreverent and entertaining.

I'll point you in the direction of April for pictures of a weightless Stephen Hawking. I'm not creative enough to make that up.

Just in time for the holidays

My sister, her husband and I think this is unendingly funny.

My wife? Not so much. I'm not saying she's a communist, but this definitely indicates she has communist-like tendencies.

(This is moderately work safe. Foul language, so turn your speakers down unless your boss is cool.)

It's wrong, but worth debating

It's too perfect not to post this.

With Danny's birthday at Chuck E. Cheese and Kristin's new baby being born earlier this week, I give you this - how many 5-year-olds could you beat in a fight.

I can take 24-to-26, but I suspect those numbers are low. Let's just see what happens if someone cuts in line for the ball pit tonight.

Try me, you little jerks.

Shake your ass

I've watched this over and over again and still can't explain why it's continuing to crack me up.

There's actually a "rule" in video game design that says you can't make a human in a game look "too" real because the person playing the game will reject it. Basically, designers can make incredibly detailed and technically realistic human beings, but there is a point of diminishing returns that takes over and ruins the gaming experience.

I think this might be the opposite of that.

Gone

As much as I love city life and really have no use for nature on a daily basis, I can't help but be fascinated by theories on what would happen if human beings were no longer around to cause problems.

There was a link off the Chicago Tribune's site today referencing a book by Alan Weisman that expands on those ideas and short snippets of how our homes and a city's infrastructure would collapse if humans were suddenly removed from the planet.

I'm sure it's a late tie-in to I Am Legend (down to the picture on the page), but it's still interesting.

It's almost enough to make me really pull for Tyler Durden's proposed revolution just to see what happens:

In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway.

(Image from the excellently named ABowlofStupid.com)

That's a valid point

Thanks to Kissing Suzy Kolber for putting it all in perspective.


It makes so much more sense now.

So, what's next?

One of the benefits of high-def television is a more varied lineup that includes not only the usual lineup on the standard channels, but extra content that is specific as an HD offering. In my case, this translates directly into highly defined nerdery as I spend time with PBS and Discovery during the afternoon.

Today there was a special on the Wright Brothers and their flight at Kitty Hawk in 1903 which followed the project to recreate the flyer and get it back up in the air in North Carolina. Aside from the usual historical dog and pony show, the point that came home was the brothers' determination and real can-do attitude.

Americans eat that stuff up.

I hadn't realized that their experiments were part of a larger race to get into the air, much like the space race in the 60's. Instead of superpowers squaring off, the Wright brothers were up against a government-funded program - led by Smithsonian Institution Secretary Samuel Langley, a name that should ring bells for those in Northern Virginia - that never really got it right.

The short version is that while the Wrights spent time with full scale gliders, wind tunnels and working out the problems that would eventually be solved by their aileron systems, the Langley groups built models and tried to upscale them to full-sized flyers.

That course of action didn't work out too well. Well, that, and the fact that the brothers used $4 worth of steel to serve as the track to launch their machine, while Langley opted for an oversized catapult that ran into the tens of thousands of dollars and failed miserably.

Even after successful flights in Kitty Hawk most people across the United States still saw them as foolish up until they'd secured a government contract with the Army by keeping a plane in the air for an hour.

In a just a few years, they'd gone from four flights in North Carolina - of 120, 175, 200 and finally 852 feet - to keeping aloft for well over an hour with the pressure of performing for the military. In just over 100 years, look at how far the airplane has come.

That brings us to the second point that was focused on at the tail end of the show - the first being, "Never trust the government to get things done quickly, practically or cheaply" - which was that the flight and ensuing explosion of aeronautical advances took the population from a standpoint of, "If God wished us to fly, he'd have given us wings," to, "If we can do that, what can't we do?"

That's the most striking thing that I took from the Wrights' story - what is left in today's world that would elicit that type of response? What's left to spur the imagination and pull in that type of response from everyone?

A mission to Mars or beyond is an extension of previous space travel.

A cure for AIDS or cancer would have a life-changing impact on those who are stricken with those diseases, but are again an extension of existing medical advances and take a living human and keep them alive, which isn't very heavy on the wow factor.

Humans have found ways to tame the wilderness, forge societies that guarantee that there is very little that we would want for and found ways to conquer the land, sea and finally, air. What's left in the logical progression?

That depresses me a bit.

With the strides humanity has made so far, there's not much that comes to mind that is left as a big ticket dream of humanity to accomplish. We can fly into outer space faster or further, but it doesn't have the same awe-inspiring aspects as the first space missions.

The remaining big-ticket societal hurdles -which would certainly be a virtual bounty for humanity around the globe - are extensions of the tracks we're on or simply cleaning up the messes we've made for ourselves.

We can cure all disease, but that'd be seen as curing the rest of the diseases we hadn't gotten to yet.

We can feed the world and sort out global warfare, but those are mopping up problems mankind created for themselves. Not that I'm against tackling any of those issues - you'd have to be a pretty defective human being to turn your back on eradication of disease, world warfare or anything else in that category - it's just that to make today's world stop and take notice, there would have to be a greater deal of sizzle.

On top of that, take the things we've decided are impossible - like bringing the dead back to life - and those wouldn't be seen so much as a global triumph as a crime against God and nature.

So, is this a matter of a population that asks for more and more or are we simply more self-centered? While we can certainly amaze ourselves and our small circle of family and friends - as in, "I ran a marathon, isn't that amazing?" or "I managed to graduate from college despite coming from a poor background, isn't that amazing?" - what's left to amaze everyone?

When did individual triumphs supersede global ones?

So where does that leave us at the end of this ramble? No worse off than at the beginning and with no more answers. But really, what's next?

What will make us all stop in our tracks, look around and say to each other, "We did that... what can't we do?"

(Image from Wikipedia.org / OUHSC.edu)

Starting to sort it out

A few weeks ago I started going to church in the morning for no real reason, whatsoever.

I've not been very religious i a conventional sense up to this point despite attending a Catholic grammar school and college. I guess on the most honest of levels I seized an opportunity to keep a morning schedule instead of allowing my sleep cycles drift into the 2 a.m. to 10 a.m. zone and figured that attending church certainly couldn't hurt things.

I have started to look forward to Tuesday masses when the school's students are brought in because it seems like the priests bring their A game for that one. There's more exploration, more explanation and it's a good refresher for me as I get my religious feet wet.

Despite mandatory religion classes along the way, there was too much focus on getting the grade or having the lessons disappear as just another class to get much out of them. It has to sound strange to people who attended public school to hear that in first grade "religion" was taught on a schedule just like math or science.

I think that after years of struggling to get a handle on things that they are finally starting to come into focus a bit. While I'm almost sure that the search for one's personal faith is a lifelong path, I'm unsure if there's ever a point where things reach true equilibrium.

The funny thing that I've experienced - especially in college - was that the more study you put into the Bible the fewer answers you seem to have. When you add doses of history and science to that, things get more murky.

Besides, how much trust can you put into an institution that refused to accept fossil records and carbon dating? Intelligent design proponents remain one of the most damaging groups with regards to my ability to accept the church as a serious entity.

As a cynical punk in my early 20s, I was positive that religion was a dangerous mix of fairy tales for adults and a healthy dash of crowd control. Without a God as an interdimensional cop, what would keep people from murdering, stealing and running amok? If actual, earthly punishment couldn't scare people straight, what could be more intimidating than an eternity of some horrible fate?

It was the same college-mandated coursework that turned a lot of my friends off to organized religion and my experience with seminary students that made me even more skeptical. I had an RA freshman year who told us how the "fish on Fridays" principle was an offshoot of an ancient pope who had a fishmonger in the family.

Armed with that information, my roommate and I resumed eating whatever the hell we pleased on Fridays in lent, comfortable to ignore the church for the remainder of our natural lives.

It was essentially the same story after I spoke with one of the priests, who explained how there was nothing wrong with personal celebrations of faith and that Mass wasn't for God's benefit, but for the people in the congregation. I took that and ran with it, choosing to go to church when no one else was there, usually on weekday afternoons when things were quiet.

Knowing what I know now, I'm starting to come around on organized religion and to appreciate what it brings to the community. I found it pretty hypocritical to shake my head at fundamentalists, while holding to the letter and not the spirit of the law with regards to my own expressions of faith.

I wanted the church to be part of the modern world when it came time to accept all involved, but would balk at collections that would be used to fund legal teams to protect rogue priests who assaulted children.

I've realized that I can't have things both ways.

One of the reasons I like our current church is that it is a few blocks from the apartment and tries to take an active role in our neighborhood. The same dated practices of tribalism I used to get nervous about - mainly based on the idea that history is written by the winners and that the church still felt a need to bring the biggest gang to the fight - have given way to seeing that the church that provides for its community is something I'd like to support.

Rather than trying to get away with as little as possible - "Wait, God said I only need to be here once a week on Sunday morning, when there's nothing to watch on TV? And I'll be out before kickoff? Sold!" - I'm slowly learning that there's more for me inside a church than some cheap peace of mind and warm smiles from the elderly.

I'd heard a while back that if you ask God for patience that He doesn't just give you patience, but rather opportunities to be patient. So, while I am still a ways off from being fully back in the fold, I have found enough to keep me coming back each morning.

Regardless of whether I believe that false idols really toppled over or that Jesus actually turned water into wine, I can find a great deal of value in daily reminders to be thankful for what I have, especially in a society that preaches , "Too much is never enough," or to be patient and accept that some things are out of your control, no matter how much you hustle. Whether it's out of my hands and in God's or just out of my control altogether is irrelevant once you come to accept the first half of that premise.

With core valuesof community, forgiveness, thankfulness, love and acceptance being reiterated every morning there are worse places to spend 45 minutes a day. My faith doesn't need to be rock solid to take away something valuable from those discussions.

It's just the rest of the mess that needs to be straightened out.

(Image from: NationalCenter.org)

Self-fulfilling prophecy

I'm looking over Amazon.com tonight and bemoaning the fact that we don't have as much disposable income as we've had in the past. There are a lot of good DVDs on the cheap, but I can't justify spending $50 on movies right now.

I'm working on justifying half that, though.

It reminded me of two things after The Girl chimed in with, "Oh, Cyber Monday!"

First is this tidbit from Al's Morning Meeting on the Poynter.org site:

BusinessWeek discovered in 2005 that not only was the Monday after Thanksgiving not the biggest day for online sales, it was not even in the top 10. BusinessWeek found that the biggest day fell somewhere between Dec. 5 and Dec. 15.

Secondly, it's strange to think that it was just a few years ago that I had to write and editorial explaining why shoppers would choose to shop online versus heading to the malls leading into the holidays.

Some people were terrified that they wouldn't get their gifts in time (if at all) and I had a discussion that was longer than it should have been to defend my position that it was perfectly fine to do all of your holiday shopping online.

Looking back, it reminds me of an ad I saw reprinted in a classic car magazine that was selling people on the idea of the toilet seat.

(Image from: PhoenixGame.com)

At the crossroads - Part I

For those who weren't paying attention - and I can honestly say that aside from the value as a punchline, I nearly missed it - former Chicago Blackhawks owner Bill Wirtz died a few weeks ago.

In the time that has passed, Bill's son, Rocky, has taken over the team and a few games have made their way to television. Now, Chicago's remaining half dozen hockey fans are waiting to see where this goes and if any significant changes will be made.

It was announced today that Chicago Cubs team president John McDonough will be leaving the North Side for his new home on Madison, where he'll take over as team president for the Hawks.

McDonough is seen as a man of the fans, who introduced the Cubs Convention idea to bring fans in to meet the players and stoke the fires during the wintertime. The Hawks are hoping he can use his bag of tricks to make the United Center warm and fuzzy again for thousands of apathetic and alienated fans.

As a little background here, the elder Wirtz became an evil cartoon caricature by the mid-90s when he blacked out home games (he was afraid that by giving home games away for free that fans would stop going to games), failed to resign the team's established stars, drove ticket prices through the roof and a laundry list of other disrespectful acts that meant Blackhawk fans beat the rush out the door before the lockout killed the rest of the league.

Long story, short, more than one former Blackhawk fan swore off the game until Wirtz died and now it's an interesting time to see how the fan base reacts. In the interest of full disclosure, I have zero idea what has happened in the Hawks season this year, aside from their 5-3 win over Detroit a few days ago. I found that out accidentally.

Today, there was a question posted on the Chicago Tribune web site regarding the McDonough move and what he should be doing for the team. Speaking as the fan that the team is trying to lure back, here's my quick rundown.

* It was never a matter of cash that limited the fan turnout. I think it's safe to say the self-imposed blackouts were the biggest problem the casual fan had with the Bill Wirtz regime. You had a stubborn owner who refused to see things differently and a fan base that eventually threw up its hands in disgust.

Speaking as a former Minnesota Twins season ticket holder, even if you have the financial means, it's virtually impossible to make every game based on time and interest constraints. Now that the team needs to lure back fans, adding television broadcasts will be the smartest move the team makes.

* The Blackhawks are in unenviable position of having hostile fans on top of the disillusioned ones. For anyone who wasn't turned off by the team prior to the strike, there was that to push the remainder of fans away.

This means that the team has all the problems that everyone else in the NHL has in addition to a hostile fan base that was on its way out the door to begin with. Not good.

* It's no secret that I'm a baseball junkie and will go well out of my way for information, but for the breed of fan required to bring the franchise back, that's not going to cut it. Everyone in town knows the business of the Cubs, knows about the Garland trade for the Sox and knows that Rex is slowly killing the Bears as they have a disappointing season.

No one knows much about the Blackhawks and they're not going to go out of their way to find out.

This will be a problem in growing the brand. Short of giving away free tickets, I don't know how they'll address this.

* Finally, the big problem for fans like me is the respect issue. I became a fan in my early teens, when I couldn't afford a ticket, couldn't drive and needed that TV coverage in order to stay in the loop with the team.

It was insult to injury when the team then locked out fans when they were in town.

Add the financial and time pressures and you take what amounts to a blue collar sport and put your fans on the wrong side of the glass.

When you can't make the game and the team decides to dedicate years mocking you for it, that just might be a problem even McDonough and his bag of tricks can't fix.

(Image from: FirstAndTenSportsden.com)

The System

I know that the city of Chicago does not have my personal best interest in mind in any of the decisions it makes. In fact, I like to think of Mayor Daley as storming around his office complaining about how much better the city would be if there was no one in it.

This was evident this week when I saw the street sweepers pass through and then the tickets for the cars that weren't moved go up after that. Sneaky, sneaky.

I've been on the receiving end of this before, where I saw the street sweepers work and leave and then moved my truck back before lunch. When I came back, the ticket was waiting for me.

I'm convinced this isn't a timing issue as much as policy designed to drive the city's revenue. Bastards.

The story is the same in my monthlong quest for a city sticker. You would think that you'd be able to find a city sticker at the local alderman's office, but you'd be wrong.

Finally, if you want a good laugh, try finding hotel rooms in Green Bay during football season. Craphole rooms that retail under $50 per night are suddenly in demand and the price goes through the roof.

Yes, Frank, I know - supply and demand. I was awake in Mr. Chasey's Econ Class and sitting right next to you every morning - it doesn't make it right.

I'm wondering how much an RV would run me for the weekend.

(Image from: CheeseheadUniversity.com)

Sometimes hip hop is weird

By now, most of mainstream America is aware that Kanye West's mother, Dr. Donda West, died and that it looks like the surgery shouldn't have happened - at least by the doctor who operated. Expect What Would Tyler Durden Do? to start getting spammed by angry fans within the hour.

I'll say this for the guy - he's got bigger balls than I do for making jokes right now. I just wouldn't want to be in his shoes when Kanye snaps out of this in a few weeks.

I was checking in on AllHipHop.com, a favorite of Frank the Tank to see if there was any new information this evening after some of the other blogs shut down. While the official statements from the family were all what you'd expect as they're still mourning and making arrangements.

Then, you scoll down to the comments section and there are a whole series of avatars that probably have been screened by the users before they made the post.

While I'm sure Kanye can appreciate the outpouring of support, does anyone want to see an animated .gif of a woman walking upstairs in a thong in a tribute post to their mother?

OK, aside from Larry Flynt?

(Image from: BBC.co.uk)

The value of a dollar

In the end, it's all about expectations. What I was willing to put up with 10 years ago is worlds apart from what I find acceptable now. It's amazing what a few more zeroes on a paycheck will do for your sense of entitlement.

This has all come about as we get settled into our new apartment and there is a laundry list of problems that need to be taken care of. Some are small, like shelving that looks like crap and contains only one actual shelf per closet and others are more substantial like intermittent electricity in the bedroom that seems to come from the outlet shorting itself out on the box.

Yaaaaay, a fire hazard three feet from where I sleep!

In my college house or first apartment, those are things that you suck up and deal with - by running an extension cord like we're doing now - but I'm finding myself really, really unwilling to do that this time.

It has me wondering if the tenants downstairs - who are in their early 20s - are also causing a stir, as I assume they have the same sorts of problems. It boils down to a question of if I expect more because of age or experience - basically, I know how much a mortgage costs, I know how much I pay for rent and there's a certain level of safety and convenience that should be met by the landlord from that overlap in finances.

I just wonder why it seems that folks in their early 20s let more things slide with a shrug and the acceptance that things can be pretty junky when you're renting a place. Secretly, I think that I stay in more and have nothing better to do that be grumpy about having to run down to the breaker, but I'm not ready to cop to that yet.

It's a very real possibility that all of the time I used to spend being cool, going to see bands and being busy with other things has now been supplanted with being cranky and demanding what I'm entitled to for my monthly rent.

Obviously that bar has been raised.

For instance, I got into a major fight with my college landlord when I refused to pay up for the craphole he rented to us because after the main kitchen light literally blew apart and rained sparks for a few minutes on New Year's Eve.

When it still wasn't fixed in June, words were exchanged regarding the final month's payment. I'd probably be calling the fire and building inspectors within three weeks if the same thing happened today.

Of course, that would be after I called their home line every time the power went out and I'd already paid at least one month in quarters. Like I said, I have more time on my hands, what with not having a social life these days.

(Image from: Old-Picture.com)

The things they don't tell you

I touched on it briefly the other day in the rush to get the Jim McMahon picture up after the wedding, but one of the big things I learned in the wedding rush a few weeks ago is that your extra-special day is rarely that special to anyone outside of your blood relatives.

I'm not saying that's such a bad thing - I can only imagine how strange the reception would be if everyone in attendance was as high-strung as those directly involved with the day - it just is.

Among the other things I figured out in the three weeks following the wedding:

* Watch your mouth at the reception. You'll be excited to see everyone and suggest that you get together soon. When midnight hits, you're booked for the next six years if you do one dinner every other weekend.

* If you're a male, it's not your day. Don't even think otherwise.

* I'm pretty sure the honeymoon period is a result of the following subconscious thought: "I'm stuck with you now - I guess I'd better be nice."

* Be ready for everything you eat to taste like burning rubber or plastic. All of your appliances are new. They all stink.

* I'm betting it's pretty common for someone to "threaten" the groom at every wedding. Older brothers, drunk uncles, fathers or the clergy, there are plenty of people there to tell the groom to behave himself. Some are kidding, some are not - see if you can tell the difference.

* It goes by very, very quickly. For me, I was so concerned with not developing a sudden case of Tourette's on the altar and not screwing up the first dance that the day flew by as I looked ahead to keeping my shit together. Eventually, though, things reach equilibrium and you can just relax and talk to your friends and family.

* Um, about that. You'll feel like you've spoken to everyone for two or three minutes, but didn't actually get to talk to anyone at all. It's a bummer when you do the mental math on the expense to host a wedding and the outlay your guests are making and you realize that you never really had a good discussion with anyone.

* Kiss your retinas goodbye. Most people own digital cameras now and most have no idea how to work the flash. Your photographer, on the other hand, will have a huge flash and will chase you around like you're a B-list celebrity.

* Good luck trying to find a minute to yourself all day. Sometimes you need to tell people to stick it so you can get a cup of coffee midway through the night.

* Don't forget to square away your music before the final 12 hours. No seriously, go start now. Also, iTunes will screw you at the most inopportune moments - it's in the coding. (Side story: I had to pick out my dance with my mom the morning of the wedding. I spent most of the dance working ahead 15 seconds in the song to make sure there wasn't some problem with the lyrics - either a curse word or an inappropriate sentiment - on the horizon. I would have knocked over an amp to draw attention from the song if the need arose. I am so not kidding on that.)

* You really can't go wrong on the big day. Honestly, it is incredibly difficult to ruin a wedding day without some actual malice and forethought. Well, unless you buy one of these babies. Then, you're pretty much hosed.

(Image from: StupidWeddingCrap.com)

Home on the road

It's getting easier to pass through the TSA checkpoints and aside from the occasional knucklehead ahead of me - "Take off the belt, dude... The belt... Beeeeeeeep." - the travel schedule has been pretty easy to handle.

I'm in New Jersey tonight and even I'm amazed at the amount of toys that I pack for each trip. Between the gear for the jobs - GPS, laptop, etc. - and the iPod and PSP for airport amusement, I have enough here to keep me busy for days on end if some freak snowstorm were to attack the east coast in the first week of November.

While I've spent hours trying to imagine working with install crews prior to the Internet and online mapping programs like Mapquest, I can only begin to process how boring business trips used to be without all of this extra junk.

It's enough to make a Buddhist vomit over the dearth of simplicity.

They're really no picnic with them, either - business travel in the 1980s must have really sucked a lot.

Believe it or not, a fond farewell

Given the rocky start that Minnesota and I got off to, it was a bit shocking that I didn't leave a roadrunner dust cloud on my way out of state.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, but no one should be allowed to move into Minnesota without full time employment between the months of November and March. Being stuck inside for several months without outside interaction from other people is a degree of torture that would turn even the Bush administration's stomachs.

Had I known, I would have taken this test. For the record I scored: Somewhat Minnesotan. Maybe you have a Minnesotan relative or friend, or maybe you moved here in your adult life.

Still, once the initial shock wore off and I met more people things got better. We have standing plans to head north for the Back to the 50s Weekend next year, as well as a few other spontaneous trips throughout to keep in touch with friends.

If I take anything from the whole experience - aside from a desire to continue volunteering, which is another full post by itself - it's that a bit of Minnesota nice has rubbed off which actually makes getting by in Chicago a bit easier.

Granted, I was home for a grand total of 17 hours before someone called me an asshole as I drove home from the store, but I've cheated back towards "human" on that sliding scale of polite society. After a Chicago to DC to Chicago jump, I'd lost a bit of that after dealing with crowds and all of the assorted unpleasant behavior that comes from cramming a few million people into the same area code.

So, while I probably won't be going door-to-door handing out fruit baskets and hugs, I did introduce myself to any neighbor visible the first time I saw them, which is something I didn't do before.

Judging by the looks I got, that was something that doesn't happen often, but it is worth repeating in the future. I have East Dakota Minnesota to thank for that.

(Image from OKCupid.com)

It was a special day

Giant white dress? Check.

Rings? Check.

Punky QB? Check.

While I've realized that your wedding day won't mean the same thing to others as it does to the two folks directly involved, I've come to grips with one simple fact: My wedding will be forever known as the "Jim McMahon Wedding."

Thanks for sending down the champagne, Jimbo. It was a classy move.


(Photo from Danny M)

One week left

In honor of my last seven days of "single" life, here's this.

(Is it sad that this is more shocking than anything that went down at my bachelor party?)

Arrrrr... you ready for a new video game?

I'm watching the press from Flying Lab Software regarding the January 22 release of Pirates of the Burning Seas which looks like it should be a pretty rad online game.

Imagine World of Warcraft but with totally kickass pirates instead of sissypants elves and such. Tactical ship battles and swordplay? I'm so in.

I'm hoping for the following:

* The ability to make people walk the plank. Preferably scurvy dogs.

* Some sort of pirate monkey like in the Disney movies.

* Rum. Lots of rum.

* Parrot-related costume pieces.

* Parrot shit down the backs of really rough pirates.

(Image from: wickedstageact2.typepad.com)

The economics of moving

One of the joys of living with someone else - and moreso than when you just have typical roommates - is the God-given right to criticize what they do, when they do it and how they go about achieving the same goals as you.

Case in point - our weekend spent packing for the move home.

When I shook out a garbage bag, the dog ran for cover - I asked him if that meant that between a pack rat and a piglet, he didn't hear many garbage bags around the house.

It brought up an interesting train of thought - you have to do something to keep occupied when throwing out two years of phone books, right? - that is illustrated in our house whenever spring cleaning time rolls around.

As a pack rat, I will keep all kinds of garbage for years and years on end, while the Girl is more prone to throwing things out and buying new if she needs them again. My instinct is to save that second trip to the store and additional investment, while I realize that this comes at a cost as well.

Exactly when would I need half of the crap I've collected? In the case of my high school ID card, I'd guess never. I'd really like to see a solid dollar figure placed on all of those worthless knickknacks.

Still, it's been nice to see some cash roll in for things we would have just pitched before the advent of Craig's List. Not nice enough to convince me to part with my Justin Timberlake bobblehead, but nice enough.

(Image from: JaniceWise.com)

We're not kidding anyone

We're on the couch tonight and just had this exchange while watching the Chuck pilot on NBC.

Me: I dunno, I'm just not buying her (female lead Yvonne Strzechowski - a woman in desperate need of a stage name) as hot. She's cute and all, but I'm not sold.

The Girl: She's cute and I guess she's got a body to die for... Do you know what I'd give to have a body like that?

Me: (Sensing a great deal of danger in a question that loaded.) Ummm... No, what?

The Girl: Well, anything except for the time and effort to actually work out enough to have a body like that.

Me: Oh my God, I'm so blogging that. Can I blog that?

The Girl: Go right ahead.

At the very least, we'll have a marriage based on honesty.

(Image from Yahoo! TV)

What a dumbass

While most guys have incriminating videos from their bachelor parties that involve booze, strippers or stealing pieces of a national landmark, I have this.

Running straight into a wall at top speed in a bumper car after blowing a wide open layup.

Keep an eye out for flashes of my natural ability as an athlete. If you blink, you'll miss it.

Eyes of the Storm

Thanks to the ever-valuable Poynter.org, I heard about this video mid-week, but was given the heads up that with a 25 minute running time, I'd need to make time to watch it.

It was worth every second.

Two years later the New Orleans Times-Picayune photo staff sat down to talk about what they felt about the storm and primarily its aftermath, as well as a wide range of moral questions they were faced with as they made their way through the city in the weeks that followed.

This is one very honest piece, right down to the reactions the photographers received from people, which is the really bizarre reaction to cameras when they're not on a crowd's terms.

There's not much to say beyond that - take the 25 minutes with your coffee some morning and watch this. It's very well done and brings all sorts of new issues to the surface that aren't getting any national attention at this point.

The deer, nature's worker's comp claim

I'm not sure if this was compiled in Milwaukee or if their mascot is just really, really clumsy, but nothing beats a mascot doing a faceplant.

Over and over again...

The big question when I fly

When I was little, my family flew to Florida for a conference my dad had in Orlando and I can remember reading a travel guide about the area over and over again before we left on the trip.

My parents made the mistake of telling my far too early in the process and like any dutiful nerd, I read and read about the topic until all of my conversations were about air travel, Disney World and the other hallmarks of the greater Orlando area's tourist attractions.

It was my first flight and as it was 1984, the skies were still quite friendly and the stewardess let me run up to the cockpit and meet the pilots. I even got a set of wings from them that I kept for years after the trip.

The pilots showed me all the buttons, levers and knobs that made the plane go and I couldn't have been happier. I would have liked to have been a pilot until I learned that my awful eyesight meant I'd have a hard time becoming a fighter pilot, which was the ticket to the big time of commercial air travel.

Still, I don't remember ever being afraid to fly and while I still have no problem with the flight itself - it's the waiting and uncertainty of times and security procedures that get me now - there is a greater degree of trepidation that I face now flying as an adult.

In all honesty, the first time I got a twinge in my stomach was after I began dating The Girl a few years ago. I suddenly had something very important to lose if something were to go wrong and it was a very real concern for me.

Occasionally, I'll have that flash of consciousness where I realize if my car were to drive off the road or something terrible were to happen that I'd be disappointed because I wasn't done here yet. I take this as a good sign that things are going well in my life and that I'm doing as well or better than I ever have. It's nothing I dwell on, but it's something that's there for all of us.

When I took off on Friday, I tried to process why I suddenly had this feeling at 29 that I didn't have at 6. It boils down to three possibilities:

1.) I'm more conscious as an adult that thing can go wrong, when they go wrong and what those consequences can be.
2.) I do have more to lose now and I'm very aware of that. Outside of my immediate family, there is a wonderful woman, a lifetime of friends and a family which includes in-laws that I love very much that would be deeply impacted if I was gone. Being able to quantify those numbers make things a little more real.
3.) There's still a lot left for me to accomplish in this lifetime and if I had the clock wind down prematurely, I'd be disappointed. Knowing that life is short is hard enough. Knowing that and having lived nearly three decades makes you aware that you need to start checking more things off your big list.

I'll be getting to the airport and on another plane home tomorrow and there won't be a problem with any of that.

It's almost comforting to know that when I get that quick pulse when the front wheels go up tomorrow it'll be for the right reasons. I can only imagine that it's the travel sized version of the adrenaline rush skydivers get.

If it is, I can totally understand why they do it.

(Image from DeltaTravel)

Master P is at it again

Here's an interesting write up I found on what is pound for pound the best gaming review site on the Internet, Gamespot.com.

Master P and Seth Green's Stoopid Monkey production company are getting together and are pitching a video game. A rap music industry sim. No joke. I suggest Cap a Fool Tycoon if they haven't picked a name yet.

Better than that news is the snarky write up Gamespot gave the announcement - though with Master P, a resume and asset listing is pretty much pure comedy.

Titled Play the Industry, the game is being developed by Stoopid Monkey Productions and ShadowMachine Films, the TV production companies behind the Cartoon Network series Robot Chicken and Moral Orel. The two will partner with P Miller Enterprises, the investment company Master P set up to fund his various nonmusic ventures, which include real estate holdings, a fast food franchise, a sports management firm, and a phone sex line. Master P--real name Percy Miller--has also been giving wealth creation seminars at the Learning Annex.

As for the game itself, Play the Industry will be a hip-hop-themed role-playing game that will see players earn fame and fortune as a musician, professional athlete, or "power broker." "You can play agent, you can play mogul, you play all sorts of different characters," Stoopid Monkey head Matthew Seinrech told the Reporter.

This game has all sorts of possibilities both to be a fun game or to be an unmitigated disaster and thus become a go to punchline for gamers.

For anyone who refuses to believe that this game won't get made, obviously didn't hear about 50 Cent's steaming turd of a game two years ago. Think Kazaam, but for XBox.

(Image from: HipHopArchive.org)

Picking your wedding music, a handy guide

While I was told I'd play a significant role in picking the music for the wedding, I'm quickly learning that my level of involvement will be largely ceremonial. This should be a familiar theme for any married men or any grooms-to-be.

Apparently my selections - culled from nearly 1,000 songs screened on a six-hour drive from Chicago to Minneapolis on Sunday - are going to be taken under advisement, but will likely be overruled.

Anyone who can't appreciate the wedding party walking in to Quincy Jones' epic composition, The Streetbeater - aka the theme from Sanford and Son - doesn't belong at my wedding, simple as that.

Still, I will cling to my hopes that Cold Lampin' With Flavor will be played in breaks between the band's sets. It's really all I have left.

For anyone else just beginning the process now, I offer the following observations:

* It appears that most of my musical library falls into two categories - the Old 97s and rap. So, if anyone who is attending the wedding is planning on dance lessons before October, I suggest paying attention to "urban" and "two step" in the class.

* You'd be amazed at how many songs are inappropriate for family functions. They are usually some of my favorites.

* The same goes for songs to fast to be "slow songs" and too slow to be real dance floor anthems. This was a major shock to my system.

* Despite my love for Shimmy Shimmy Ya I can't in good conscience, play Old Dirty Bastard at a wedding, no matter how awesome it would be. And believe me, it would be awesome.

* Be careful of songs you really, really like now. While I'm sure you love the new rock ballad of the week, are you sure you want Nickelback forever linked with your wedding? No, no one wants that. Not even the guys in Nickelback.

* You have a choice to make - Show off your musical tastes and complete of distrust of the mainstream music industry or people having fun and shaking their asses? Let's face it, no one plays The Polyphonic Spree at school dances for a reason.

That's what your wedding has essentially become - your very own high school dance, including the requisite amount of drama and alcohol-induced stupidity.

* Keep in mind people will know the names of the songs. Grandma will listen to the most inappropriate lyrics, much like a sitcom character who will hear the most incriminating portion of a conversation.

Aimee Mann's I've Had It is a perfect example of problems here. Same with Pete Yorn's Just Anotherr Girl.

* You're going to want to listen for objectionable lyrics four or five times, minimum. Songs that sound like a lyrical recap of an hour of playing Grand Theft Auto might not go over so well with the cottontops.

(Image from: ArtistDirect.com)

My week is officially shot

Ever stumble across a web site, where you just know you're going to spend the rest of the night clicking links or searching for old crap you already know the answers to? For me, Netflix and the IMDB come to mind instantly on this.

Well, a new site has launched under the same media umbrella as the sports site With Leather
called FilmDrunk and I've spent the past hour clicking links, watching streaming video and hollering, "Honey, have you seen this?"

Surprisingly, she had. I was shocked she had the goods on the upcoming Jack Black/Mos Def movie. I'm still recovering.

While I'm not sure you'll run through post-by-post like I'm doing, I will point you to the Ebert and Roper/Siskel searchable database with video and everything.

I'm not sure if this is why the Internet was invented, but it sure can't hurt its case.

God bless public debate

I can't prove it, but after listening to National Public Radio for two weeks, I'm pretty sure I've gotten smarter.

I'm now able to hold relatively intelligent conversations on all sorts of things from local government to finance to trapped miners in Utah. I've got to say that I'm pretty happy to have rediscovered the station with three offerings in the Twin Cities.

While two are musical offerings, the straight up news and commentary station is a step into a world of being a smartypants that I've been sorely lacking.

Still, there are plenty of questions left unanswered - I was driven crazy by the coverage of the mine collapse and the technology being used - but that is part of the appeal for me.

Especially on the heels of the bridge collapse and wall-to-wall coverage where nothing cracked the news cycle, it's disorienting to have an outlet that says what it needs to and then moves along.

More than that, the station does a good job of presenting the point - which admittedly, sometimes comes from a biased source - and leaving it with the listener to make their own decisions about what is valuable information and what is not.

Combined with a recent viewing of Control Room, it's startling to take a step back and realize exactly how much of my daily news content - especially televised news - is being given from a specific point of view.

When I hear discussions about the future of journalism and specifically the move towards a tailor-made news cycle where users would subscribe to a series of news feeds from bloggers and other gatekeepers who would compile daily links in real time, it makes me worry about how much of the news we don't want to hear won't ever reach us.

An open-ended news source leaves more to the intellect and forces the reader/listener/viewer to put more effort into the stories that interest them. At the very least, it leaves an echo that you can kick around for the day and try to come up with an answer.

While I was never really that disconnected from the world around me, I was definitely missing something by not having NPR as a preset on my radio. Besides, when you listen to NPR for a few hours straight, you don't feel nearly as guilty for watching reality TV that night.

(Image from: NBC)

Wild and Wooly? Funtown, USA? Sold!

I didn't even know today was the 30th anniversary of Elvis Presley's death but if there's a silver lining to that, it's the Elvis movie marathon on TCM today.

Secondarily, it's nice to have the wedding date locked in (with the associated deposits!) so that if I watch this all night, there's no way I'll be dumped for such sloth, bad taste or overall weirdness.

I searched and searched for a Melvis clip from Eek the Cat, but apparently there's some Internet law against awesome, because those are nowhere to be found. Second place goes to this trailer for Viva Las Vegas which is a favorite of mine.

Bad acting, goofy songs and a formula made even more ridiculous by Melvis and Eek are hallmarks of any Elvis movie worth its salt and Blue Hawaii has all of those and more. With Elvis' range spanning from singing to not singing to kind of confused, I can't imagine anyone else taking his place on the silver screen.

Honestly, who would even attempt movies this ridiculous on a repeated basis? You know, other than R. Kelly, I guess. Any more ideas? That's what the comment section is for.

Happy Madden Day

Yes, I still went to work.

No, I don't own Madden yet, with baseball season running so hot still.

Yes, I'm a little sad that the ambulance is no longer a feature in the game. I'm telling you, if you made a mod to return the ambulance to Madden and to make little Wayne's head bleed in NHL, you'd be a rich man or woman, virtually overnight.



Thanks to Our Book of Scrap for the video.

I apologize a trillion times

I'm sorry, Ms. Jackson - I didn't see this until it was too late today.

While I enjoyed Armed and Famous it wasn't quite violent enough to make things entertaining for me. Sure, seeing LaToya Jackson get tasered totally made my holidays, but this might be more up my alley.

Hopefully Country Music Television's Ty Murray's Celebrity Bull Riding will quench my bloodlust.

I love bullriding - we nearly went to a bullriding event here for a proper New Year's Eve date last year - putting D-level celebrity washouts (and Nitro from American Gladiators) is my idea of television heaven.

Vanilla Ice, Leif Garrett and Rocket Ismail will appear, among other "celebrities" who may or may not "break their spines" while they "act stupid for a few, desperate dollars."

On the bull's side, Satan's Own will be the superstar bull. I'm honestly surprised that there's not a tab for the bulls on the CMT web site - CMT is totally selling out lately.

It premieres tonight, but knowing how CMT operates, they'll be playing it over and over again (CMT isn't really known for its original programming).

A quick called shot? Jon Fairplay will put bullcrap on someone's bed or somewhere else, causing a ruckus in the house. I'd put money on that.

(Image from Suburbarazzi.lohudblogs.com)

I'm almost sure there are laws against this

Correct me if I'm wrong, but this seems like a bad pitch for a buddy cop movie.

Mesa, Arizona police really want a monkey and in order to try and legitimize the request, they're almost positive that they can equip the monkey with cop gear and send it into hostile situations. (Note, this is just my guess, I'm sure this is the dawning of a new era in law enforcement.)

If PETA hasn't already organized a protest of some sort, they've officially disbanded.

According to the WTOP web site:

Weighing only 3 to 8 pounds with tiny humanlike hands and puzzle-solving skills, Truelove said it could unlock doors, search buildings and find suicide victims on command. Dressed in a Kevlar vest, video camera and two-way radio, the small monkey would be able to get into places no officer or robot could go.

Are they going to try and out-cute criminals now? No word on how the work on a tiny handgun or miniature grenade launcher is coming along.

Not that they'd really need them, I guess. When finding the graphic for this post, I learned one thing - even tiny monkeys will jack you up at a moment's notice.

(Image from InMagine.com)

Bridge collapse, the days that follow

I went to lunch today with two coworkers today and had to head west of the north side of the highway that collapsed to get there. Surprisingly, traffic was moving along pretty quickly heading westbound over the north/south expressway with cars, bikes, media, cops and pedestrians all swarming the area.

On the way back, we hung a quick turn and headed towards the river, where you're allowed to drive, but only as far as the police tape will allow. We were able to see down the train tracks towards the bridge - and the train that is trapped under the road deck that has been on the news - and the north end that is up in the air now.

Heading back to work, we saw the media circus - and media folks would get a kick out of the pecking order, CNN and major national affiliates on the 10th Street bride east of the collapse and the overpass north of the accident site - milling around and eating box lunches, waiting for something else to happen.

We swung over through an apartment parking lot downstream a bit and saw the First Lady's helicopter buzzing the site before we headed back to work.

All told, there seem to be very few people actually working there today, with probably three-to-one coverage from the media of the divers and cops down near the river. The whole scene wasn't nearly as shocking as anyone had imagined and I've already heard some griping about the traffic patterns and gawkers who are plugging up the streets.

Just a few more quick thoughts from Minneapolis today.

* Both of us realized pretty early on that conversations Thursday began all day with, "Everyone OK on your end?" before moving on to whatever business you had to talk about. This went on all day, but was pretty reassuring. This dovetailed with the calls Wednesday night from family and friends checking in and e-mails that night and through the morning.

* Part of the problem with all of those phone calls were constant busy circuits and cell phones that just wouldn't work. There's more on that here. It's something to think about and also worth knowing that even when cell phones are down, text messages seem to get through pretty easily.

* For anyone interested in digging in further, here's a links list from Poynter.org that has some great resources regarding the paperwork involved, historical perspective and other links that you'll be seeing sourced over the weekend if past performance is an indicator.

* The factor I keep waiting to hear about but haven't is the water quality downstream. KFAN in the Cities is slowly getting back to its sports format, but they had a rescue diver on this afternoon who was speaking about the debris, nasty currents and other obstacles for the divers.

Between the brake fluid, gasoline, oil and other chemicals that are leaking from the cars that were crushed, it will put a major dent in the normal summer activities on the river from swimming to fishing and boating.

It's bad enough that the divers are reportedly in dry suits, but obviously isn't top priority right now. Given how much concern the Twin Cities show for the river, it's probably coming up soon, but the dog is bummed out that I'm home before 5 p.m. today and he's not swimming in the river right now.

* It's just a gut reaction, but I don't see the bridge hysteria being pimped by CNN and others dying down soon. With bridges an integral part of the national highway system, it's not like the levee problems in New Orleans during Katrina, where the Midwest and other parts of the country couldn't relate.

A bridge is a bridge, they're all over and apparently they're in worse shape than anyone thought.

As I write this, CNN has a feature on bridge safety, asking why the bridge wasn't shut down years ago for repair. I can only imagine the public outcry if that had happened without this disaster first.

* I never thought much about presidential visits until they were brought up on The West Wing but seeing Laura Bush buzz over our shop a few times today reminded me of the wonders of air travel. The President arrives tomorrow to make a bad traffic situation much, much worse...

* We'll be at the Twins game tomorrow night - I'm debating about bringing the camera to see what we can see and maybe post a few on Flickr for everyone.

(Image from Getty by Mark Wilson / via ChicagoTribune.com)

The view from inside the bubble

I had no idea why I wouldn't be OK.

When one of the adoptions employees at the Humane Society came down from the front desk to the room where I volunteer with dog training classes every Wednesday for the past year and a half and told me that my fiancee had called and wanted to make sure I was OK, it made no sense at the time.

Watching TV now, safe at home, it probably wasn't a fun hour for her.

The bridge that came down runs up the east side of downtown Minneapolis, spanning the river that is crossed several times up and downstream, no more than a half mile from the Metrodome and carrying a highway that I'm on every morning on the way to work.

While anyone who is really interested can check the maps, the long and short of it is that Highway 35 is split south of the Twin Cities into 35E, which cuts through St. Paul to the east and 35W which jogs along Minneapolis in the west. The two then meet up again about 20 miles north as it continues up to the north shore.

This particular stretch of road is just west of the University of Minnesota and University Avenue, which runs along the north side of the campus jumps over the highway a few hundred yards north of where the bridge went down.

Strangely enough - and this is by no means an indictment of the road's condition - I've steered clear of the bridge lately because road work has made that stretch prone to traffic jams. The radio reports I heard tonight on the way home said that work was purely cosmetic and I have no reason to think otherwise, but I wonder tonight how many cars would have been traveling there if summer road construction season hadn't forced people to find other routes home.

Some other things to know about the bridges here in the Twin Cities:

* There are two roads - East and West River roads - that follow the banks of the Mississippi River and weave under the series of bridges up and down the banks.

* The bridges themselves are a pretty good height. Most are in the 50 foot range or so. When you're listening to firsthand reports of cars falling to the river, realize that it's a hell of a drop.

* There are plenty of bridges here in town - to get home, I have my choice of four to cross - so that's a pretty nasty double-edged sword. There's no really good way to get around town without crossing a bridge at least once.

It will be a strange commute tomorrow morning.

(Image from StarTribune.com)

We're fine

We're both fine, more later, but with the phones all jammed, figured it couldn't hurt to throw a post up here.

The future is going to suck

Thinking about cars tonight reminds me of a conversation Frankie and I had about American muscle cars a few months back when I tried to convince him that I could move to Ireland, work on Chevys and Fords and charge an extra 140 percent margin for servicing "foreign cars."

I saw it as a can't miss opportunity for career advancement, but Frankie thinks I'm an idiot.

The part we didn't see eye to eye on was the overwhelming loyalty to the American muscle car. I still think that there will always be a spot in someone's garage for an old Nova or a Mustang that won't run. I refuse to believe anything else.

At the very least, there will be morons like myself who will overpay for a car just because it runs. I guess it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, huh?

The big thing I think about whenever we go to car shows now is what we'll be seeing in 15, 20 or 30 years from now when we go to "classic" shows. There's not much difference between most sedans anymore and I have no interest in seeing a Corolla for free, much less for 10 bucks a head. Or whatever the currency of the future might be - my money is on the Shrutebuck.

(Image from: ThePlasticExplosives.com)

If I ever have to move to Naperville, I'm getting one of these

All apologies to Frank the Tank, but if I ever get shuffled out to the burbs, I'm totally going this route with my state-issued crotchfruit transport vehicle.

I love this sort of crazy shit.

There are whole subsections of car culture focused on tricking out cars that have no business being worked on. Station wagons, old delivery trucks, Good Humor trucks and others. If you need any other evidence, I'm pretty sure College Humor has all sorts of redneck-constructed vehicles that you can mock for hours on end.

So, having seen this, I know what Frankie and I will be doing the first few months after I move back, when the weather turns and life is better lived in a warm garage.

It's a pretty simple phrase, "220 mile per hour Volvo."

(As a really funny side note a Google search for "drag race" brings up a lot of stories and pictures of drag queens, racing in high heels. Considering the demographic who actually search the web for drag racing stories, I think this is funny on several levels. It's awesome.)

(Image from Draglist.com)

Happy to be an adult today

It's been a busy summer so far. Between the wedding coming up this fall, the move a week or so before that and all of the usual chaos that comes with the summer workload at the shop, it's hard to keep track of the days flying by... save the gaps I see on the blogs where "I'll write tomorrow" turns into once a week or less.

In the midst of all of this, is the need to mature a little to make sure arrangements are made, rides are taken care of and deadlines are met to make sure we don't have flower-less or guest-less problems at the wedding.

While The Girl is taking care of all of this, I try to keep up to date enough that if I needed to, I could close out the hanging issues. After a week of project management, I just have little to know motivation to try and PM my life.

That's where The Girl comes in. While it will get its own post soon, her recent project of collecting all of my old, unpaid bills, student loans and other financial sinkholes has given me a great deal of peace as I no longer worry about when my accounts will be frozen or when my truck and television - the only real assets I have - would be taken and sold at auction.

Much like any other stressor in life, you don't realize how much something bothered you until it doesn't anymore.

It was a grown-up move to get things back on track, but like most grown-up things in life, it's pretty boring, costs you money and isn't something you can show off to your buddies - like say, a classic car or a boat.

Today, however, adulthood paid off when my old TV took a nose dive and needed to be replaced. With the cost of repairing a six year old TV equal to or greater than the price of replacing it with the same type, it was a pretty simple decision.

However, months of being a homebody, eating in, hanging out with the dog and not buying cars or boats leaves room in the budget for new LCD televisions. It also makes it easier to justify stepping into the high definition world and further cementing my status as an old guy who hangs around the house with his old lady.

You win this round, adulthood...

(Image from Anything-Direct.com)

The hunter becomes the hunted

There was a point in time where athletes - and for the sake of this post, baseball players - were pretty normal guys.

Before inflated salaries made "sports star" a high end profession on the pay scale, most players made a few thousand a year and lived comfortably, but not miles apart from a mechanic, baker or reporter.

I've read pieces that suggest players and reporters traveling together on the team's dime wasn't such a massive conflict of interest in the 30s and 40s because they were all in the same basic pay grade.

That's what was interesting about this interview that Deadspin - how do you categorize Will Leitch? Kingpin? Founder? Overlord? - writer Will Leitch did on ESPN Radio.

The question about Deadspin's Super Bowl coverage came up and Scott Van Pelt's assertion that ESPN's on-air talent was being stalked as the bloggers waited for them to screw up.

All of this is reminiscent of the change the sports world saw when players went from being categorized as athletes and became celebrities and entertainers.

Not so much fun, is it fellas?

I'd need a lot more space than would be interesting or worthwhile here to get into the whole dynamic and what I consider to be out of bounds - not that I have any great insight, I just have a lot of opinions.

There are a lot of other facets to the interview and larger discussion - mainly the emergence of Internet journalism versus it being a new format for knuckleheads to spew stupidity - but it seems that the years of peace and professional courtesy afforded by the established media are coming to an end.

(Image from: thecia.com.au)

The big news

With the cat out of the bag for all the interested parties, it's safe to throw around some cheap excuses here.

We're going home in October, which means moving back to Chicago and hopefully settling back into the lives that I really enjoyed until our move up north.

I'm waiting for the dust to settle, while still keeping the head of steam moving along at the baseball site, so please be patient.

I'm sure there's a whole slew of posts about home, family, moving costs and all sorts of grown-up stuff just waiting to come pouring down the pipe. It's a proven fact that you get a great deal of perspective from these sorts of life-changing events - you won't be able to shut me up in a few weeks.

Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros

For anyone not watching Flight of the Conchords on HBO, you now have no real excuse.

While it's pulling heavily from their stand up routines, that's not a bad thing. Here's why:



Now, HBO has the episodes streaming on their web site, but only for last week's show. If you're not following this (after Entourage) on Sundays, check it out here.

Minnesota, in a nutshell

They don't call it "The State of Hockey" for nothing, as evidenced by the United States Hockey Hall of Fame which is way, way up north in Eveleth, MN.

As I was looking for a place for dinner last night, I accidentally found the world's largest hockey stick. Honestly, I should have been a little more surprised than I actually was.

I have a few pictures here and here, with my favorite here.

The fact that there's a sign up in town that points you in the direction of The Big Stick is one of the most awesome things I've ever seen on a sign.

There appears to be a little rivalry going, with another "Largest Stick" in Canada and mentions of the new and old one in Minnesota - seems like someone had to up the ante to keep those Canucks in their place. The Minnesota one is also listed as the largest authentic stick - what justifies that distinction is beyond me.

Just to make the whole thing more complete for me, when you Google "Big Stick, Minnesota" you get a ton of stories about the state fair and the unnatural attraction to foods on a stick that probably shouldn't be.

These are the things I'll tell my children about.

(Image from IronRange.org)

Polishing the brass on the Titanic

I can't imagine how bad the defense of former astronaut Lisa Nowak is going to be when the best they can say about the allegations she faces is that she in no way wore diapers on her little road trip.

The Star Tribune has story they grabbed from the Associated Press about the defense attorney vehemently denying the whole diaper thing as she drove to have a little showdown with another woman in that strange love triangle mess from a few months back.

According to the story:

"The biggest lie in this preposterous tale that has been told is that my client drove from Houston, Texas, to Orlando, Florida, nonstop, wearing a diaper," Donald Lykkebak said after filing motions to suppress evidence in Nowak's criminal case. "That is an absolute fabrication."

Um, OK... Great, I guess...

It goes on to explain:

The tidbit that Nowak wore diapers during her trip was written in the police report filed after Nowak's arrest in February. "I then asked Mrs. Nowak why she had baby diapers," according to the charging affidavit written by Officer William "Chris" Becton.

"Mrs. Nowak said that she didn't want to stop and use the restroom, so she used the diapers to collect her urine."

Now, the reason this is all so important is that her attorney is because he's worried that his client is becoming a target because of this information.

"It jeopardizes our ability to have a fair trial when the accused is the butt of jokes," Lykkebak said.

I'm sure all of this helps.

(Image from germes-online.com)