If you're a good parent, you'll give this some thought

Congrats to the newest member of the Chicago Cubs family. And just in time for Opening Day, too. Now that is timing and great parenting. I would love to be able to one day tell my son that in the first 12 hours of his life, I held him and watched Opening Day.

On the other side, I'd be worried that the labor wouldn't be done in time and that I'd miss the first pitch, so it does present a dilemma. Also, were I to try and time a baby's birth with Opening Day, I'd be branded a copycat and probably have a long string of girls, all born in early April.

Also, I'm betting pregnant women frown on soon-to-be dads flying to Fort Myers for spring training games a few weeks before the due date.

Women.

Anyways, now is the time to decide if this is the road you want to take with this kid. Your wife and daughter are already in too deep. This is your one and only chance to free this kid of a lifetime of worry and heartbreak. With the expanded Extra Innings television package, you can pretty much pick any team you'd like except for the White Sox, Indians, Twins or Blue Jays.

Here are my top picks in case you change your mind, or, you know, love your son.

New York Yankees - Nothing ends an arguement like the phrase, "Winningest team in Major League Baseball" or "How many rings does you team have?" Hate them or hate them, if you were to pick a team for your son's overall well-being and psychological health, you can do no better than the Yankees.

Basically, this depends on how you feel about stained undershirts, gold chains and cheesy mustaches. Also, if you have enough room in your front lawn for a Trans Am that will dribble oil and kill your grass. Because all of those things are in your future, too. Also, your son may start talking like Tony Danza.

Atlanta Braves - A picture of consistiency, but never able to take it that final mile. Still, 14 straight NL East titles is really impressive. Kind of like being a Yankees fan, but with some self-respect, and not the obvious pick.

A word of warning, this will all but lock your son into a lifetime of making it 95 percent of the way, but falling just short. He'll go to Yale after Harvard snubs him. He'll pull up just short as a top-tier middle manager. He'll always be just a little short of the big prize, like two numbers off on the Pick Six.

This isn't such a bad thing, though. He can always be counted on as the guy who is really dependable but without being a serious danger to anyone's job. There are worse things in life.

Florida Marlins - How about a team that wins two World Series trophies in 10 years? Oh, yeah, the whole fire sale thing... good point. Nothing is worse for a child than to see his heroes sold off one by one. Let's move on.

Any mid-level team with no real pressure - Seattle, Baltimore, Milwaukee, Texas etc. are all pretty solid organizations who'll show off some star power and have nice, new ballparks and none of the historical craziness.

This is perhaps the greatest disservice you'll do your son by pulling him down into Cubdom. With the Red and White Sox proud new owners of World Series rings, the Cubs have been left as the only ones in the NFL Draft Green Room. It's not so bad when there are a few other historically crippled teams to share the space with, but the Cubs are all by themselves now.

Know the roommate who is left when the other two or three get better-paying jobs and serious girlfriends and decide to move out and start new lives? Yeah, the Cubs are sitting on a shitty, stink-infested couch with cigarette burns right now trying to find someone to go out on a Wednesday night to watch college basketball.

All of the above teams are OK with where they are at, and while they'll never be an elite team, they are fun to watch, have promising farm systems and friendly fans. More than anything else, when these teams make the playoffs next, their fan base doesn't do a collective shudder and shut down for two weeks.

The next time the Cubs make the post season? Too much shit, too little pants.

Thse teams and their fans are normal. Well, as normal as you can be worshipping a mascot that slides into giant mugs of beer. That can't be good for a kid's social growth, now can it?

(Photos from MLB.com/Yankees.com/JSOnline.com)