From bad to worse

His career or his wife, you pick which one is more appropriate for the title of the post. If you're opposed to cheap shots, maybe you should just skip this outing, because it's going to be really easy on this one and I'm not sure I can resist.

Word from MTV.com is that Mr. Spears, Kevin Federline is getting slapped by Thomas Dolby. I'll wait while you access who that might actually be. Need a hint? She blinded me with science! Yeah, that guy, welcome back, that guy and good to see you've found work as a James Carville impersonator.

The long and short of it is that Federline is a theif in addition to being a talentless leeching fuck up. He allegedly lifted a beat from MobbDeep who had legally obtained the track from Dolby. Initially Mobb Deep didn't say anything, presumably because they are on the same label as Federline's meal ticket.

Well, Dolby isn't having any of it. According to MTV:

"Mobb Deep came to me and asked for a license," said Dolby, who was paid a fee and receives royalties for Mobb Deep's song. "We issue licenses all the time, for movies and TV shows and so on. I was aware of the Mobb Deep one, but I certainly never issued a license to Kevin Federline."

Dolby caught wind of the expletive-filled song, which begins with the line "This is for the haters," through a fan's posting on his own Web site's forum and made a plea to Federline on his blog.

"I considered turning a blind eye to it other than, as I mentioned on my site, asking him politely to take it down," Dolby said. "But I found out today that it aired on VH1 last week. So it's more than just an MP3 download. It's airing on TV, and there's no question it's taken from the Mobb Deep record. It's like what Vanilla Ice did with 'Ice Ice Baby' [illegally sampling Queen and David Bowie's 'Under Pressure'], although I think Vanilla Ice is a superstar compared to this guy."

While Jay-Z hasn't passed the bar yet, he knows enough so the cops don't illegally search his shit. Federline presumably hasn't had that much schooling, or any for that matter, but just the image of Mobb Deep having track down Dolby for permission seems funny to me. In fact any of these rappers having to do this gives me the giggles. I assume their lawyers do all of this, but in my world, D12 would have to go over to Elton John's house and have to politely ask permission to use his work. Then they'd have tea and tiny sammiches.

Back to Federline, in addition to having such a sure bet in Britney go south on him - who was the last person to have such a sudden and shocking change of luck? Maurice Clarett? Hurley on Lost? - he now has Dolby breathing down his neck and making unfavorable comparisons to Vanilla Ice.

Seems like the perfect time to grab a pack of Kools, a few MGDs and just try to unwind this weekend if you're Federline. Repeat after me, buddy, "It's still better than whatever trailer you crawled out from under... It's still better..."

(Photo from MTV.com)