Thursday, August 03, 2006

Wee, wee, wee - Half the way home

We've all been there before.

You're a half mile from home after six hours of steady drinking, only your bladder left the bar about a half hour before you did. You have options, but not really. It boils down to two paths:

a.) Piss in your pants
b.) Piss anywhere else

Yeah, no brainer. Unless you're trying to prove a point or put a fire out in your drawers, you find the a dark alley or corner (stay safe, kids!) and piss all over your feet.

Good times.

The Chicago Tribune had a story today about the legal ramifications of pissing, being caught by the fuzz for this and then kinda lying about not knowing the guy who was peeing next to him. (As an aside, it's a general rule of thumb to not pull one's junk out in the presence of a total stranger - just saying, is all).

Long story, short, kid one denies knowing the Phantom Pisser, the cops figure out the PP's real identity and then use Facebook to put the two together as friends. Seems kind of flimsy to me, but sure, why not.

The best part is the quote from the kid who is either having a lot of fun with this as the media comes running, is drunk right now or both.

"I had no idea that old people were wise to Facebook. I thought they referred to it as a doohickey that kids play with," he said. "I got bone-crushed."


As a bonus story here, I e-mailed Frankie and Danny this afternoon when I found this for no other reason than because the University of Illinois was the site of two of my favorite drunk, misbehaving episodes.

On the advice of my lawyer, I'll refrain from posting them here. The U of I cops are online now.

(Photo from

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