Blasphemy!
An Alcatraz that doesn't have slamming doors? It's downright un-American.
Luckily the National Park Service (who will sell you one of the best yearly passes you can imagine if you're on the East Coast - just be prepared for your smartass kid sister to call it your "Nerd Pass" for the rest of your natural born life) is working to correct the problem.
Having never been to the prison, except in my mind with Sean Connery, I wasn't aware of this, but I guess they stopped locking tourists in when they could no longer let them out with a reliable success rate. That was probably a good plan.
However, the nation's largest prison hardware firm ("For the best in shanks and other stoolpigeon silencing equipment!") is looking to hand-craft the missing equipment to allow rangers to lock people in and let them think about what they've done.
It seems to me that being one of the lucky few who needed a locksmith to get them out would be a pretty fun dinner party story to tell for years afterwards. Kind of like being stuck on a busted Ferris Wheel, you have a unique story to tell your kids, only without the carnie-related pandemonium that normally ensues.
Still, I can't help but wonder how unfulfilling it's been to visit and stand in the cells, but not be locked behind bars, even for a few minutes.
Recently, I've been working at a firehouse that's being constructed from scratch. When I first saw the blueprints, I asked a co-worker who is the lead guy on the job where the fire pole was. He said that it's one floor, so there isn't one.
All I can think about are all the disappointed kids who'll show up and not only miss out on a dalmation, but find out there's no fire pole, either.
It's got to be like finding out there's no Santa Claus.
(Photo from SFGate.com)
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