Friday, August 11, 2006

We must do our patriotic duty and defend the nation's bug zoos at all costs

In a story from the hopper that keeps coming back around and around, the nation has been transfixed/moderately concerned/slightly uneasy laughing at the sheer stupidity of thosands of travellers forced to dump out shampoo bottles as the enter security checkpoints.

I imagine that this too, shall pass. Much like lighters being banned in favor of no more than three books of matches and sweeping layoffs a year after hiring a full army of TSA agents, this will settle and the world will be safe for those flying with yuck mouth and Listerine again.

Also, the U.S. continues to miss the boat when it comes to what is and what is not important in our ongoing War! On! Terror! (OK, it took several tries andhaving to write the HTML code by hand to get that link to take... I think the governement is somehow involved in trying to shut down the hippie blogger menace here.)

To quote the opening paragraph: "A Homeland Security database of vulnerable terror targets in the United States, which includes an insect zoo but not the Statue of Liberty, is too flawed to determine allocation of federal security funds, the department's internal watchdog found."

No shit? You'd think that the temp hired to type that up in the first place would come to the same conclusion.

As we had the water cooler discussion at work today, I asked in all seriousness if anyone thought that this whole thing is a head fake by terrorist organizations to get everyone watching the airlines as they plan for any place but.

One strange thing I came across was as I was trying to think up a way to describe this thought process to a co-worker, I needed an American equivalent of a reason to try and attack a much bigger country and my mind immediately went to "If you needed to bomb the hell out of America for $15 million..." I think that sums up why we're getting bombed so much in the first place.

The concensus was that a sporting event was next, but the question remains - why on earth would you try and bomb a plane at this point when it's one of the most sriously guarded industries in the world now?

Why wouldn't you just walk into a major stadium and do your damage there? Seriously, you're going to try and mix chemical from three shampoo bottles to make a bomb that will blow out the wall in an airplane bathroom? Didn't MythBusters teach us all we needed to know about explosive decompression?

My homeboy at Disconnected in Suburbia is advocating focusing on the positives and not worrying so much. I'm going with at least focusing in the right direction. Yes, the planes are important, but what else are we concentrating on?

I have to say the thought of an organization that's responsible for our collective well-being worried about the terrorist menace striking us in the petting zoos isn't giving me a lot of confidence here.

Instead we're going to hassle people who won't stand for the national anthem and those that speak out against the US in small Bible Belt towns? Look at the rest of the watchdog list: bean and bourbon festivals and a kangaroo center?

We might not have found a surefire way to rate our national assets, but we may have proved that computers have a sense of humor or are starting to get pissed off at us.

Still, whenever the next attack happens, we'll all be shocked, despite the fact that we tried so hard at keeping the airports safe. Tring to cause a problem there when we don't see that level of security anywhere else is the equivalent of trying to rob a bank when the Brinks truck is parked outside with the door open and engine running. Where's the sense in trying to up the degree of difficulty?

It just doesn't add up.

Finally, when I'm brought in for questioning later tonight and you see me on the news, keep in mind I had a hat on today and my hair doesn't usually look that bad. Oh, and I usually shave Saturday or Sunday... I'm getting a little scruffy.

No comments: