Those Martinez brothers are brutal!

Yes, it's a baseball post away from the sister site, but this was too entertaining to hide over there, so kickass story, welcome to the Mothership.

For a little background, Jeff Kent can be a bit of a pain in the ass (he had a few run-ins with Barry Bonds in San Francisco among other high-profile blowouts) but this story may trump all the others. Additionally, it makes me wonder when someone will be banned from baseball for throwing a game so their fantasy team wins its league.

It seems that Tom Candiotti, a former pitcher who is a TV guy for the Diamondbacks these days, was in a fantasy league when he was in the league and Kent wasn't on his team.

From the San Francisco Chronicle and thanks to Deadspin for putting this on everyone's radar:

"It's '92 or '93," Candiotti says. "I'm playing for the Dodgers, Jeff Kent is with the Mets. I'm in a fantasy baseball league. I don't have Kent on my team and he's off to a torrid start and he's killing me."

The Dodgers are in New York to play the Mets. Ramon Martinez is warming up in the Dodgers' bullpen to pitch the series opener. Candiotti strolls to the pen and, within earshot of Martinez, tells pitching coach Ron Perranoski, "Perry, I just talked to Bret Saberhagen, and Sabes told me that if Kent gets drilled his first time up, he's mush for the rest of the series."

First inning, Kent steps to the plate.

"Ramon just absolutely buries one in Kent's ribs," Candiotti says. "It was so bad that he went down on one knee, and he had to come out of the game. I sat there thinking, 'What did you just do? You told a complete lie, you got this guy drilled!'

"After that, it was funny. Pedro Martinez (Ramon's brother) started drilling Kent, and so did all the other Dominican pitchers. For years, Ramon drilled Kent every time."

I don't know what's funnier, the retelling of this story, the fact that we all suspected it for years or that at some dinner for the Martinez brothers, Ramon tells Petey, "Hey, drill Jeff Kent when you see him. You do that, and he's your bitch all season..."

Guess it'll carry a little more weight next time I yell from the crowd, "Hey, Underperforming major leaguer to be named later! Get your ass in gear, you're killing my fantasy team!"

Chances are, they are killing theirs as well.

(Photo from HollywoodisCalling.com)