Don't commit crimes because the police are smarter than you

I've been lazy busy lately, so I'm behind the curve when it comes to weighing in on the whole Aqua Teen Hunger Force terrorist flap in Beantown last week.

As one of my favorite cartoons, I couldn't have been more pleased to see the whole thing go down. This includes the stupidity of mistaking these for terrorist devices, Peter Berdovsky, 27, and Sean Stevens, 28, the two guys responsible, refusing to answer the media's questions, except for those on 70s hairstyles and the new "development" that a security camera saw one of the "culprits" milling around, filming the whole mess and laughing.

Let's start with the last one first.

Given that a light board you had placed was being taken down by police and the whole city was pretty worked up over the whole thing would you volunteer that information at that time?

I guarantee you'd get "Oh, hey, fellas, I put that up..." before Officers Murph and Sully pounded your skull into hamburger. Assuming the scene played out the way their lawyers said it did - with them calling Turner immediately to have them handle talking to the cops - I think that is the perfect response.

God, I love the new America. It's much better than the old America where a crudely animated, light-up alien flipping everyone off wouldn't cause gridlock that could bring one of our largest cities to its knees. All we've done is teach the terrorists that a Lite-Brite can cripple Los Angeles while the real bombs are being set.

This reminds me of the time in Chicago when guacamole in the roadway got a call placed to a haz-mat unit and The Mayor just chuckled and issued a statement about how much he loved guacamole.

As for the rest of it, I avoided the talking heads and caught the recap on G4's Attack of the Show. The question up for debate was a tongue in cheek "Has guerrilla marketing gone too far" and we learned that no, it hadn't, we're just a country of wieners.

As we watched one of the 62 Law and Order's last night - and now I contend this is the real world version of Pigpen's thesis in P.C.U. where no matter what hour of the day it is, there's a Law and Order episode on television somewhere - I was struck by just how savvy those TV cops are. No pop culture, bizarre science or historical reference slips by those guys.

Last night, they found the real killer based on identifying a brand of scotch, a love letter to a 14th century duke and the 1965 St. Louis Cardinals batting order and I realized that Hollywood is lying to us.

As we saw last week, a popular cartoon on basic cable is far too underground for Boston's finest to pick up on. Not one detective, beat cop or intern fetching donuts was able to see the image on the sign and tell everyone, "Wait, wait guys... Everything is cool."

It reminds me of public figures who appear on the Daily Show and aren't clued in on the joke.

I guess fighting the war on terror doesn't leave much time for such nonsense like watching cartoons. It's worth pointing out that even the state police were able to bring down Johnny Chimpo, though.

(Photo from Wikipedia.com)