The Dark Side

Maybe it's the heat wave. Maybe it's the humidity. Maybe it's just a lack of sleep, but heading to the Dome yesterday for the evening's game, The Girl was in a mood.

She was cursing someone out for something that I'd usually curse someone out for - namely being in the way or just lost in life in general - and I called her out on it.

She laughed and said she wasn't quite sure why she was bitching and I told her that she's starting to see the world as I do - full of morons and jerks. She was suddenly very serious and told me she'd never see the world that way.

It was a very Darth Vader moment for me. I wanted to tell her to channel that anger, but figured I was pushing it at that point.

So after putting up with a new round of chuckleheads behind us as part of the Make a Wish You Knuckleheaded Jackass Foundation's ongoing efforts to ruin my evenings, we're heading out and there are literally hundreds of children running free throughout the outer ring of the Dome.

Just kids everywhere, clogging the concourse as we're trying to head out. The Girl gave me a dirty stare when I helpfully suggested leashes for every one of those little booger eaters. I was apparently wrong again for suggesting a muzzle or two to go with that.

This led to the back to the car discussion being about whether four year olds were more or less advanced than dogs. The funny thing is that people get into trouble treating their dogs like fuzzy little people. I'm here to advance the theory that children are hairless little upright dogs.

Fact: You wouldn't leave either of them alone for very long in your home unattended.

Fact: Neither can truly "feed" themselves. Sure, if they get into the Kibble/Cheerios bags, they can eat, but are pretty helpless to feed themselves in a big picture sense.

Fact: They can both be real nuisances when left to roam free in public.

Fact: They have no concept of space and are a danger to your knees and associated ligaments.

Fact: Always cute when they're young or yours, not so much after a few years in most cases.

Fact: They can communicate... to a point.

Fact: There should be leash and curb laws for both.

finally, while I'm not saying that kids are exactly like dogs I'm saying that under the age of four, there are more similarities than differences. I'm calling The Chronic of Disconnected in Suburbia fame tonight. I'm betting with two little ones and a dog that he'll have my back on this.