The whole audio-visual industry has been beating the hell out of me lately. I'm not saying I'm tendering my resignation tomorrow, but I'm looking.
World-famous blogger seems to be falling short - and I blame you lazy punks for not working for free as my street team / pyramid scheme drones to propel me to my rightful place, watching television and blogging in my underpants when I wake up at noon-thirty - but I think I've found two suitable career moves in one handy little package.
Kobyashi was featured on True Life: I'm a Competitive Eater a little while ago and this YouTube gem captures its essence (though I'm disappointed Eater X doesn't have several clips available).
While this Japanese dynamo is unbeatable - Seriously, have you seen him eat? It's like feeding time at the zoo, only if the zoo was in Sally Struthers' backyard - I think I'd like to take a run as a dickhead chef in Japan.
I'd spike ice cream with chili powder and generally make Tyler Durden's kitchen etiquette look damn near sophisticated.
Secondly, I'd love to be the voice over guy for stuff like this. Not to actually learn the languages involved or anything, but just read off the script and try to keep that nice, mellow level while delivering pure gold like, "Oh, my! That's hot..." and such.
Maybe I can do voice over translation work for people who need it like Tim McCarver where I'd have ultimate creative control. I imagine it'd basically be three hours of me saying, "That's stupid. Fuck that, I'm not repeating that. Fly ball, easy out. No way. I need a bathroom break and a fresh lemonade here waiting when I get back."