Saturday, February 18, 2006

Is it still a "boy band" when you're 40?

Poor Nick Lachey.

It's not bad enough that Jessica Simpson is shacking up with the lead singer from Maroon 5 - nice job on the Kanye track, by the way, but in the words of Jay-Z, even a garbage can gets a steak - now he has to ask for a handout and for his shit back?

Ouch, bad week.

I have to admit, after seeing the two of them on their show, at least Lachey came across as a sympathetic guy who married beyond his means and was paying some weird Greek tragedy-type price. I admit that I was a little skeeved out to learn he was a decade older than her and started to chase her when she was like 15, but what can you say? The man has a keen eye for talent.

I just feel bad for whoever had to take the job of sitting Lachey, a grown-ass man, down and telling him, "Listen, buddy... you're going to need to get some kind of cash back from Jess. I know it sucks, but if you want to keep going to USC games and hollering at plasma screens instead of tri-color sets with tin foil on the antennae, you need this. No, 98 Degrees isn't primed for a comeback, it's over and you need to take anything you can get your hands on as you leave the premises..." Oh, and get to steppin' we don't want to keep Reese waiting on his new digs, bitches.

Sonny and Cher, meet Nick and Jessica. Nick, keep your head up, dude. (And pass on any future ski trips).

(Photo from People.com/Ramey)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

At least it seems as though Nick has the brains not to end up like that former O-Town singer being featured on MTV's "There and Back." The way that guy blew his millions in a period of 2 years essentially makes him the white version of MC Hammer.

Matt G said...

What happened between Nov. 23 and Dec. 13? Jess got a chunk of change that they're sparring over now.

According to wwtdd.com, "Lachey reports the couple's separation date as Dec. 13 while Simpson cited it as Nov. 23, a discrepancy that would put into play nearly $1 million that Simpson earned during those weeks."

Anonymous said...

I was thinking about this and actually came up with, in my opinion, a completely plausible theory. The Dukes of Hazzard DVD was released on December 6th. It's almost certain that Jessica contractually had royalty rights from the sale of those DVDs. Since the first week of a DVD's release is typically the highest selling week, Jessica would have made more royalties from December 6th through - surprise - December 13th than at any other time. Not coincidentally, Nick says they separated on December 13th.