Get the door, it's Jesus

You know that saying, "I'm just as *blank* as the next guy? It's usually used to warn the listener in that particular conversation that a big lie is barreling in on them.

"I'm just as hard-working as the next guy," means that someone is about to tell a whopper about how much they do in the office, even if they just hang around the water cooler all day and stare a lot to make people uncomfortable. "I'm just as good with a set of wrenches as the next guy," means that the tow truck driver you're currently on the phone with should bring a shovel because you dropped an axle two miles back on the freeway.

Well, I'm just as religious as the next guy, but do we really need a Catholic-based community in Florida founded by a pizza baron? Is this the South's way of paying us back for whupping their butts in the Civil War?

In short, the guy who founded Dominos Pizza was raised by nuns and wants to give back to God. He's going to do this by founding Catholictown, USA in Florida. According to the article, that means no contraception or dirty movies on cable. Bummer.

"Yet civil rights activists and other watchdogs concerned about the separation of church and state are threatening lawsuits if Ave Maria attempts to enforce Catholic dogma. Environmentalists have also complained the town will restrict the habitat of the Florida panther, an endangered species."

Well, maybe this problem will just take care of itself in due time. I personally, would enjoy the unintentional comedy of a town full of intelligent design proponents ending up as panther food in an unmistakeable show of survival of the fittest.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that an orphan, who was raised by the church went on to great success (reminds me of Arnold in Twins) but, couldn't he have done just as much good by pouring that money into Catholic school funding or charities? While the Church is still reeeling from sex scandals and each diocese is forced to make cuts to help pay legal bills worldwide, is this really the best idea Tom Monaghan has ever had?

On the other hand, he seems to have a track record of passibly successful ventures here. Dominos and the Detroit Tigers. Neither one is really the industry standard in their respective fields. If he owned Pizza Hut and the Yankees, then maybe, but what is the cut-rate, sub-.500, stoner-friendly equivalent here?

I can't even think of the pinnacle of Catholic living to compare it to, but a college town with no condoms... let that sink in... next to panther land, built on a swamp and endorsed by Jeb Bush seems like a great start.

(Photo of Elvis, Jesus and Gen. Robert E. Lee from voccoquan.com)