"If we don't want to use our tickets, we can tell the Twins that we don't want those and they can pass them out to kids who otherwise wouldn't see the games," I've been told.
Why don't they just give those kids some of the thousands of unsold tickets in the stadium, I ask no one in particular.
With roughly a quarter of the season in the books, it's good to know that the Twins in their unending benevolence have not only given everyone in the place a free hot dog (Friday night when they signed the paperwork on the new ballpark) but are also supporting the Make a Wish, You Knuckleheaded Jackass Foundation by donating the seats directly surrounding us to said knuckleheads and jackasses.
Lest a game be played without someone making stupid comments within earshot of me, I was treated to foul-mouthed twenty year olds and a racist old guy in Friday and Sunday's games.
Let the record show I have no problem with profanity at a ballpark as long as kids aren't paying attention and it's creative. "Hey, ump... You're an asshole!" is not creative. Neither is the old crank behind me Sunday yelling, "EEEE-CHEEEE-ROHHHH!" while he may or may not have been pulling at the sides of his eyes with his fingers to be extra-crispy flavored racist. I can also neither confirm nor deny that he was making karate chopping motions with his hands.
While there are a few familiar faces in the section (big ups to sleepy guy and scorecard lady) we have a revolving door of mutants, clowns and outright douchebags who are getting thes tickets from somewhere.
If you're keeping track at home, "Sweet seats, dude!" is a good thing. "Sweet seats, dude (now the players can hear our heckles so we should be extra loud and vulgar)" is not.
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