How Smart Are Dumb Things

One of my greatest strengths is the ability to make simple things complicated.

Why use two wires when you could splice in five and burn your hand with a soldering iron?

Why use the highway when you could switch back on five side roads and run into a washed out bridge?

Why spend a quiet evening at home when you could spend the whole weekend in jail for ignorant behavior?

What's the fun in settling for stock? Exactly.

I was thinking of this today as I took a one-way street home and was shocked at how well the street lights had been timed. While Chicago's surface streets have their stoplights synchronized to the beds in the University of Chicago's Epileptic Ward, the Twin Cities spent a few extra bucks to line them up.

Green after green with not so much as a red "don't walk" hand to slow me down. Nice.

The highway on ramp I sit at every morning is timed as well. Sometimes the two lanes waiting to enter the roadway play a quick game of ping pong with each light alternating every two seconds and sometimes you sit and wait for 30 to 45 seconds for traffic to clear.

I read about these in The Wisdom of Crowds but never really thought much about it until I started commuting in the mornings again. One of the points James Surowiecki makes is that people are more willing to wait if they know these types of lights are being used. If we think they're just timed strangely, we'll blow through them.

I think Minneapolis needs to spring for signs that point out their "smart lights" to let us know we're making the right decision to sit their with our coffee.

So, while I continue to wonder how smart video games are with their artificial intelligence - "Is the pitcher throwing random pitches to random spots, or should I be looking for a yakker away here?" - I'm buying into the stoplights in town.

I put my trust in you, robot gatekeeper. Get my happy ass to work on time.

(As a side note, if you keep to a steady 36 miles an hour in the center lane of southbound Portland Avenue while playing Italian Leather Sofa by Cake off of Fashion Nugget, the potholes will hit the bassline perfectly if you've started at the right time. I doubt the Minnesota Department of Transportation did this on purpose, though. Sometimes they just need to get on the stick for road repair.)

(Photo from thayerconsulting.com)