American Gladiators is back, not that we needed it

I tried to warn everyone that this sort of thing would be what happens without writers, but no one wanted to listen. So, we get this - American Gladiators, hosted by Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali.

Wonderful.

There was a two-hour special tonight to get everyone back up to speed with their favorite mutated humans and it's even more ridiculous than it was before.

Let me tell you, it's even creepier in hi-def.

The Girl and I remember this show from when we were kids, watching it on sketchy local television on Saturday nights when we were too young to be let out of the house after dark. This time around, it's kind of strange and I'm not sure if that's on purpose, a product of this weird resurrection (like animals buried at the pet cemetery in the Stephen King book) or because we're old enough to see just how crazy the whole idea is.

I can live without being told which events are new and which ones are classic events. Honestly, there's only one I can really remember - the one where they fire tennis balls at people as they scramble to find Nerf weapons and try to blow up the gladiators. That's about it.

In any event, there are the usual crop of hopefuls - talking more trash than I remember, prompting several, "That's why television needs writers," comments - and the gladiators are now given distinct personalities - check here for Wolf, Toa and Hellga - which makes things better in a worse kind of way.

The house is laying odds here at possible hermaphrodites, former mental patients and people who owe money to bad people. Also, we had a spirited discussion about whether or not certain gladiators would be cool to hang out with or if they were just as psychotic when the cameras stopped rolling.

Try it, it's fun.

If you missed tonight's showing, you owe it to yourself to check in at least once to see people getting pelted with tennis balls and climbing up three stories worth of rope ladders. Plus, the contestants seem compelled to give themselves nicknames and personality, even if it's the last minute.

The fan favorite here was the undersized Asian guy who decided he was a "spider monkey" midway through the show.

Totally awesome in a "I'm getting dumber at an alarming rate" kind of way. What else are you going to watch with football relegated to Saturday and Sunday afternoons?

(Image from: SNESMusic.org)