Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Another day, another list

This morning marks the day that I turn 30 and as a trailer to last night's post, I offer these basics from three decades of accumulated knowledge:

* If there's any question about whether or not food is still good, throw it out. It's the same choice you'd make if offered the chance to dodge a 24-hour stomach flu in exchange for buying a new pizza/sandwich/gallon of milk.

* The preseason favorite is rarely there in the end. This is great news for 99 percent of the world.

* Sometimes simple things make all the difference in the world. One bad mood drastically changed my life years and years ago. You can't truly take back stupid things you say. You can't un-disappoint people once you've crossed that line. It makes no difference if you worry about these things or not, so it's best to just play the hand you're dealt each day and keep moving forward. By the time you see the impact, it's usually years later and much to late to change the outcomes.

* Bad haircuts will always grow back. Always.

* You can easily follow Major League Baseball 12 months a year.

* No matter how many times you tell your wife to quit reading over your shoulder and wait until you're finished writing, she'll never listen. You just need to get used to this.

* Never enter a casino with more money than you can afford to lose. While we're on the subject, gambling should be viewed as an entertainment expense and never any sort of investment. No, I don't care about your "system" for blackjack.

* It's significantly harder to reconnect friends once you've lost touch with them. It's surprisingly easy to stay friends with a call or two each month.

* There are two types of people when it comes to conversations. Those who listen and respond intelligently and those who are trying to tell a better story once you shut up. It pays to be in the first group.

* Always pay your bills on time. You cannot imagine the problems that are caused when you don't. Even when people make jokes on television about not paying their bills, they still do. Don't be fooled into thinking no one else is keeping up because of that.

* Self-control is one of the most underrated virtues in the human experience. Whether it's saying no to seconds or waiting a few months in order to pay cash for the new flat panel television, it is a very valuable trait that is worth the effort.

* Don't eat yellow snow.

* Nothing in life is free except for bad advice and a hard time from underpaid security guards.

* Some people need a hug as a motivator and some need a kick in the ass. Knowing the difference between the two can make you a very successful person in the world of business or professional sports.

* While it's trite, I don't remember much of the time spent driving out of my way to see or do something new because I was somewhat close, but I constantly remember those things I've seen and done.

* Once you start settling for things that you don't really want, it becomes a slippery slope. Try not to settle very often.

* Television news is for pretty people who aren't very bright but are very good at reading the newspaper in front of a camera

A short list of things in life for which there are no substitutes:

* Full fat ranch dressing
* The unconditional love from a dog you've raised from a pup
* The joy on your wedding day when the doors at the rear of the church open and you realize you've made the best decision of your life
* Second chances
* Friends you've had for longer than you can remember
* A cold beer on a July evening after working all day
* The feeling of limitless opportunity you feel as a 20-year-old
* New car smell as you leave the dealership
* Cable television
* Scoring the winning run/goal/touchdown
* Being there - spanning from a Civil War battlefield to Graceland to Wrigley Field, there's never a substitute for being there
* Hearing the door shut behind you on the last day of work at a place you can't stand
* Collapsing on the couch after you've moved the last box into your first apartment
* Meat cooked on a grill
* Day baseball
* Live music
* Finding the place in this world where you fit
* Bacon
* Central air
* Classic cars
* Spending an entire Sunday in a bar with your friends watching football and eating hot wings
* The first two days of March Madness
* Seeing your name in a newspaper byline for the first time
* The night your favorite team wins a championship
* True love
* True friends
* A good night's sleep


(Image from: Flickr.com)

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